Monday, 26 March 2012

Imagine This

Gay test: Do you see abs, or ___ ?
I haven't posted any images of hot dudes holding hands or kissing recently, and that seems easy to fix.  Ironically after my last post I should be the first to admit that a picture can really make a story.

It's not that imagery is needed.  That said, it's only on second glance that I noticed that the guy on the right is among a line of cots.

That one detail could mean all the difference in a story.

If you're lucky enough to be able to read this, which is around 74 percent of the world according to this faith-based link (I hope they enjoy following back) then you are also graced with the massive ability to augment your mind's eye with something similar to how High Def TV can make reality even sharper than it actually is.

A hot nerd (in my book)
When the Red Light District of your mind's eye could use a suggestion or two, an erotic story is certainly the closest thing to "being there."

For me it all started with Penthouse Letters.  In the magazine they slipped a gay(ish) story in now and then, and in the small booklet exclusively composed of letters, there was at least one guy-on-guy story in every single issue back in my day.

You can create stories or ideas in your mind, and if you're generous you might even write some stories -- fiction, fact, or fact-based can all be very very hot.

Pen names aren't a dime a dozen anymore, they're totally free.

But before you begin, there's a great place to start, and that's to experience what's already out there.  As usual, the Internet provides, with vast stores of legendary stories already told.

Measured in bits and bytes, erotic stories are without question the best thing a pleasure center could ever experience.  A typical story can blast you to Mars and back and still come in around 18k.

That's some sexy, nerdy goodness.

Monday, 19 March 2012

Are A Thousand Words Worth A Coffee Date ?

"Do you have a face pic ?"

Asking the question means you've already started communicating with someone without knowing what they actually look like.

Sure, you might have a cock shot, or an ass, or a torso... maybe even a matched set.

So far you don't have any reason not to continue (and maybe a couple of reasons to continue closer to that torso).

Unfortunately, that eventual face pic can, if you're like me, more often than not provide a good reason to flee.

For whatever reason (the fashion industry ?  Television ??) I'm very much into good looks and I don't care to settle.  Hot torso or not.

This, complexly intermingled with my mild self hatred and a curable case of body dysmorphia is not helping my anxieties at all.  I don't have many awesome torso shots, and quite frankly I have been a bit obsessed with my own face pictures lately, and for good reason.  I don't photograph all that well.  For whatever reason(s), statistically I am way more attractive in-person.

I've tried the dating sites and I've tried circulating out and about, and based on my brief exposure as a fresh gay there's just no comparing what I can attract on a web profile to what I'm able to attract in person.

If you demand evidence, here are 3 examples of how, so far, I've been far better able to find physical attraction in a person in-person:

Guy #1 saw me on the patio of a bar in the village, and came on in for a drink.  He was a young, sexy brunette that was well-dressed and seemed interesting so we exchange numbers.  He then went on his way.  When we met-up another night for a drink, he told me he was getting over a long-term relationship and rarely ventured out into the Village, but when he did he liked to set his sights on a target and went for it.

Guy #2 was an exotic dancer.  Originally from Europe, he was young and cute and blonde (I'm a sucker for this combination) and we had a great private dance (he tore my clothes off !).  Afterwards, I hung out in the club for a while and he spent the evening with me (as much as is possible in his particular line of work) and told me that he was totally into me.  Though, he explained, his boyfriend was a Toronto guy who was a lot like me.

Guy #3 worked in the Toronto gay village, and I found him really sexy.  He was young, cute and blonde (clearly this combo helps the odds with me), and only after I saw him checking my profile on a dating site did we have more than a basic "Hi" "Hey" "What's up" conversation.  Based on our limited (yet visceral) real-life interactions, it turned out he thought I was pretty neat, too.  And he was always sober when we interacted.

For the record, Guy #1 was sober too.  And I probably bought Guy #2 his first drink of the night (I like to go to "those places" really early [or really late]).

All three of these guys are hot, believe me -- and I'm incredibly picky.  And they're into me.

But when I send a warm greeting to a guy on a dating site near their level, I rarely, if ever, get any reply back.

On dating sites,  I try to present a realistic view.  I do want to scare-off anyone who is looking for mindless hook-ups, but I don't want to scare-off a guy after we meet if I haven't presented an accurate portrait.

I've been on the other side of that story, and it's a hard lesson learned -- don't paint a picture of a person without first meeting them.

Don't paint a picture of a person without meeting them.  Don't do it.  You will be disappointed.

Good luck not painting that picture, by the way.  It's probably impossible.  But keeping this in mind helps keep my profile a realistic description of what a guy can expect should he actually want to venture out on a coffee date with me.

Recently I've had to remind myself of these Three Guys because quite frankly I can get a bit disappointed when I hit-up the dating sites instead of hitting "The Scene."  Though we've had a mild winter I just haven't had the opportunity to "get out" as much as I'd like this year.

I can get to know a guy over chat or email, and I've even had some very personal cam-to-cam experiences.  But these pen pals are rarely in my neck of the woods, in fact some of the hottest cam gods have been Aussies on the other side of the Earth !

Unlike my pen pal back in grade school (yes,we literally sent physical letters back and forth, long before the Internet was just a missile launching chat site) today I'm fiercely interested in what a guy looks like from "all angles" and that includes a mandatory face pic.

Pen pals and C2C dudes are just not dating material for me.  Gazing into the sweet face of my man is what I dream about these days.  The rest comes from that.

I wish gay Speed Dating was all the rage instead of a novelty today because I usually know who I'm attracted to within a few seconds -- I take-in a man with my eyes, and then once I hear the utterance of a 3-or-more-word sentence, I'm ready to pass judgment.

Pass or Fail.  Done deal.

Yes, I judge guys.  Quickly.

Of course I feel my own personality is more difficult to get across.  I need more than a look and 3 words.  I have decent writing abilities and I put a good amount of effort into my dating site profile descriptions.

You'd think all that attention to detail would help me attract a perfect match.

If my magical prose doesn't attract a man, only my images remain to represent me.

I'm decently handsome, but... ugh, not so much in pictures.

Does this suggest I shouldn't have a face pic on my dating profile ?

"I don't date torsos, nor dicks for that matter.  Face pic or you have something to hide."

Considering I've posted the statement above on at least one dating site, there's no way I could ever take back my uggo self-snaps.

Guess I'll just have to get back out there instead.

Friday, 9 March 2012

Dear Kirk Cameron

Dear Kirk Cameron,

While recently approaching the age of 40, I did a great deal of "soul searching."

Though God knows I stayed mostly straight, I was still very single.  I had not a single rewarding relationship with a woman, in the Biblical sense or otherwise.

It appeared that I craved bananas.

I very naturally came to realize that I just wouldn't be happy unless I pursued a relationship with another man.

Taking cues from Creationism, I followed what I felt was natural, what God might be suggesting to me as the most expected path for my spirit -- the banana in the hand, so to speak.  This pointed me not to companionship with the opposite sex, but to a person who is more similar to me.

Thankfully for me, nature can (sometimes, at least) provide for those of a like mind.

For me, it just feels natural to think of another man like how a modern, genetically-selected grocery store banana opens with a tab, and slides smoothly down the throat.

Sorry for the deadpan sex reference Kirk, but I fear you've been hoodwinked.  It's time to shoot water cannons against your fears of a man marrying another man.

Equality only brings more balance and more love to a very uneasy world.

Should God drop an Ethernet cable (Cat 6 or better please) from the Heavens tomorrow, and Humanity plugs into the Universal Eden-net, I'll be totally sold -- at least for a while.  End of discussion.  I'll do what God says.  And I won't be alone.

Until, that is, God asks us to do what doesn't seem natural, beneficial and/or what's right for our fellow Man.

Even with such a sweet, thick cable dangling from the sky filled with Universal knowledge, there will be many of us here on Earth questioning what it really is about, "Who" is behind it, and what "It" may really want.

Even with such a literal connection to God, many of us won't be sold.

In this case, you shouldn't be disappointed.

You should be impressed.

And proud.

Some have faith in stories passed down from generation to generation, transcribed before the age of the printing press and translated from language to language.

And some are born to question.

But many -- most, hopefully -- will always accept what others feel is "natural" as long as it doesn't hurt others.

It's called Freedom.

This human reaction shouldn't so easily be extinguished.